Forbidden Fruit
by Broad and Bernard
Summary: Tony and Obadiah are supposed to keep their meetings strictly professional, but Tony Stark has never been one to stick to the rules... Rated M for lemons and violence.


Tony stork gazed at Obadiah as he steamed towards him faster than a jumbo jet. Obie was riding on his Dareway and puffing at an oversized cigar as he chugged towards the arc reactor.

'Hey Obsinator, how's life?' Tony peered down his transition lenses, taking in his bald leering co-worker.

Obadiah winked as he rasped "All the better for having you home safe, Toe!"

Toby blushed to a crimson hue, singing his beard. He fluttered his dyed lashes.

'Come on Bobadial, I've got something to show you!'

Totebag pranced into the lab, and his assistant manager swaggered after him, transfixed by his clothclad buns.

"So, you shut down the weapons production,eh?" Bobineer chuffed, placing his hand on Thor's beans. "Whatcha do that for?"

Tonky shrugged. "I feel we must look at sustainable energy!" he beatboxed, bashing his head against the whopper arc reactor suggestively.

Obstinate blubbed and grasped toybox's shoulder, stopping his frantic self-harm.

'Calm yourself bretheren' he wheezed calmy into Tron's ear. His choccy eyes met his halibut coloured eyeballs.

Goliath tensed as Trojan slid his warm nose into the bin, snuffling around for toilet paper. Origami found the sight of the brilliant inventor grunting about in the waste like a common pig extremely arousing, and he waddled forward to grasp Tronji's backside.

Totoro sniffed and turned to look at Jared's calm face with a look if bemusement, similar to that of a cow seeing a meteor stryke.

'Hey, uh, bobble, whatcha doin?' His southern drawl sounded like birdsong to Oatten's ears.

"You knew this was coming, Tony!" Obintodeity leered, unzipping Iron Man's breeks to reveal his grey shark-patterned swimming trunks. Thorki was alarmed- could it be that Obadiet was coming onto him?

Treacletart turned to face his advancing steed, seeing lust in those beady eyes.

'Now, Trueblue, stop staring, and kiss me.' Hernesto vocalised, parting his lips like a seductive heron. Thelma was unable to resist his proud strong bill, and met the older man's rosy beak with his own gnashing jaws.

Ostentatious hoisted trilby's legs up around his midriff carrying him to the ark realty estate, pushing his bulky form against the slight frame of the young brainiac.

Benport wailed with wonder as Frerard derobed, revealing a set of bras in every colour of the rainbow and an under-kilt fit for a king. Seeing his old boss in such decadent negligee made Tuna weak at the knees. He began to shudder with poisson.

Torso cupped his hand behind Obindoodle's cabeza, pulling hymn in for a snog. Orca undid his Gucci skinny leggings, ripping them at the seems. Tory moaned in delight as Orenogo pushed against his 'energy source'.

"Oh, Oregano!" Lucius screeched as his ten-tonne assistant manager drove his "Jericho missile" into his "Private plane"! The bad-breathed tycoons began to flail and gyrate as they dove into the depths of intercourse

Leonidus mowed loudly into the crook Ordinate, feeling his spine pressed against the ark reaper, which melted with the friction of their powerful love making. Boodlebob pushed his hands against the ark poo and kissed Quintus's nectarine.

'Oh, gridlock, you're awesome.' Gary whimpered.

"I know!" Snirdler beamed, caressing Ironic Man's nimble paws.

"OUUGGHHH!" Lord Greg roared, as a torrent of dung sprayed from his rear, coating his partner, Jonty's, face with his wet waste. Kingpin growled, irked at being dip-died in poo.

"SORREE!" Hammelot grunted.

"It's OK, I know you have a problem!" Orinator yodelled, kissing the young Sirloin.

Doe sighed relief, happy that Bromite was not offended of his wash down. He decided to enjoy the thrusts that Herod was doing, but he feared that the park peastore would not support them for much longer before it melted entirely.

'Oh, oh Mallory…' he moaned, spittle dribbling from his gaping maw, he felt the fountain erupt and Sandman's eyes fell out of his face.

"UH OH!" screamed J. Jonah Jameson, disentangling himself from his young partner, Nightcrawler. (Tony)

"I knew this would happen!" Frederique wailed. "Our love was too pure for this world!"

As Grinch collapsed to the ground, all his limbs broken, Halibut bent down and cried. His love was a blind wreck and the farmers market was about to explode!

'Woe is me!' gribblebon cried.

Modestus was struggling up. "No… my dear, there is a way… with science, our love can survive!"

Strythio gagged, casting the obese wreck a look of pure disco. "What if I don't want it to? You aint got no eyes!" he chuntered, disappointed that the first guy he ever had a chance with had lost his eyes as well as his virgin oil.

Wendy slapped Jeremy across the face. He glared, passion and anger filled hi gummy sweets.

'I may be blind! I may have pooed all over you! I may have destroyed the Channing Tatum, but I still love you, and if you are such a dungy loser that you forget that, then I shall kill you myself!

Raoul had forgotten the stains and eyeballs that lay on the floor, he felt the need to kiss his love once more, and make love to his sweet buns once again.

'OH NO WAY BRO! You've had your fill! I'm out!' Yu-gi-oh tossed his hair and fled the scene.

"FML!" Puck Fitzgerald (Obadiah) roared. "That bitch!" He ran out of the haberdashery as fast as a speeding hog, straight into his laboratory to build a big suit.

As Astrid walked away, crying and stamping his hobbit feet he spotted that damn sleaze trundling to his lab. Ha! He had a bomb! And he wasn't afraid to use it!

As Fibblidork grabbed random sticks and matches, building his new machine, he saw out of the corner of his eyes his deer doe, who no longer cared for him, grimacing though the window.

'You're gonna die! Hanna yelled and he threw a Jericho missile into Gobblebon's face. The explosion was incredible, and Reedus was only a pile of mush when the smoke cleared.

"Alright!" Frodo screamed, jumping up and down with triumph. "I'm glad he's gone!"

Suddenly there was a terrible mowing. Hannibal screamed as thousands and thousands of fuzzy rats trundled out of the drain, squeaking rhythmically to the beat of terrorism. The fluffy pests circled the poor Jean-Michel as he clung to his gin, then suddenly, their eyes glowed a terrible rosy red and one by one, the rats exploded with the force of an atomic grenade.

'No! The Explo-rat! Holy mother of MILF! What am I to do!?' Gretchen ran from the room and saw the huge Channing Tatum. Its blue waters looked welcoming, and Bridget cannonballed in, splashing and thrashing like a punctured rubber duck. He felt happy and weightless, then a terrible thing happened.

The Explo-rats changed their recon mission to a suicide mission and began to throw themselves into the water after the struggling reporter. Their tiny wheels whirred frantically as they tumbled to their doom, only one thing on their pre-programmed electronic minds: CONQUEST.

Daryl looked up and the light was blocked out by a mass of small furry bodies, they fell upon him, their tiny whelks burned away Fido's skin, and he was skinned alive, and the Explo-rats did not stop their onslaught, until the human had died, then they exploded. And the Jelly Baby was no longer.

The conquest of machines had begun, and no one would be sage.


End file.
